A reflecting note

GOOD MORNINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG (in jin’s tone)

Okay where do I start, - mmm basically today I sleep for the whole day !! ahahaha cuz its Saturday man !!!!!!

My mind is so scattered with all words and thoughts tht I would want to write here .

So basically

1. I want to talk about being an intellectual fan instead of just fangirling at jimin’s aegyo handsomeness sexiness and so on

2. Talk about how important it is to have a reaaaallll break just to stop everything that is going on in life be it suck or otherwise cuz it is just soooo important to restart things all over again as life may give us more fatigue and toxic feelings and thoughts and dullnes and tiresness and the dry feeling of not wanting to give our all may just accumulate each day and it’ll get worse if no proper action is taken

3. Trying to be anticipated in all of our undertakings and try to change/ see negative things in its positive aspect - if it seems no hope left , try - at least to figure out what good lies in that condition/scenario/hardships/struggles

4. Organise yourself properly

5. Fight drowsiness to the very last drop of your blood , sweat and tears :D

6. Understand your sleeping pattern / or try to establish one and stick to that

Ok so I wont gonna talk about all of that things listed , I may talk on few things that need some elaborations etc etc

Ok I dah ngantuk ni . how ?

1. Being an intellectual fan

Well - just staight to the point - I can choose to see bangtan in billion kind of ways .

- these boys are just a few years away from me ; see how much they have achieved today WITHIN SUCH A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME (2013-2018) , this must be because of their utmost utterly hardworks and efforts and struggles that they put into everything that they do . in other words , the DON’T WASTE THEIR TIME

try to be empathy and see and feel how much these boys appreciate each and every second of time as they must be using that time just for the sake of attaining their very own goal . isnt this so beautiful ??  they must be practicing so hard - focusing at their maximum level , and try to give their very best . it wont work if I just say it here and I do nothing about it . it is so good if I can apply this into my medical studies .

AND at the same time these boys are so so so so so so not greeedy or cold or selfish in appreacting their fans . oh dear cant you see how in each of their speech or wish they never ever ever forget to mention and celebrate ARMYs ? it is so amazing to me seeing that these boys can still give their love (despite their tired life) to the armys . I mean - I said this because I can feel the love energy radiated by them ? energy could trascend time and place , it is . so here I am feeling so happy seeing the boys happy and appreciative of their fans .

It worsens my heartue more knowing how much he love armys >< . this makes me emotional the most . he is known as one of the most hardworking member in bangtan , especially during their debut era - where he faced soooo many hardships , being thrown with hatred with his apperance , I mean what the f*ck ? go to hell pls . poor my baby jimin :( and he’s been struggling a lot with himself in becoming an artist who have a voice that will move everybody’s heart . (god I still can remember that log , where his eyes turned red when he says he’s struggling a lot in singing!! , poor baby I love him sm :( I think its on 26 apr 2016 If Im not misttaken )

And to the fact that they have grown so much WITHIN JUST A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME hit me hard in the face and heart and brain so hard . I mean ugh I always did a reflective moment with me , and asking myself how have I or did I changed a lot (bout good things lmao) in these past few years ?? and smh I cant find the answer WHICH IS SO EMBARRASING !!

Hence , I could say to myself that there is no excuse for me to complain about my packed medicine schedule >< thats the issue . I need to be ashamed of myself , be ashame of bangtan - a group of BOYS who is NOT EVEN MUSLIM - who may be AN ATHEIST , but despite all , they grown up so much , a lot in just 5 years . which is so so so so so so so amazing for me . okay ?

2. Importance of restarting things all over again

This , is so important for us as restarting things and refreshing ourself back make us flush out all of our toxic feelings about ourself , remove the bad and negative perceptions of our life cuz we may be at our worst at that time , and etc

Being able to do this help us a LOT . I tell ya . we have to search again , the feeling , our being when we first entered this . The anticipations , the excitations , the happiness , the euphoric feelings that we have when we were at out first step .  

As for me , some of my ways in trying to refresh and restart myself is just sleep , and forget ; completely forget all things that have any kind of associations with our life . I did this on weekends usually , cuz I get to sleep longer at this time .

Secondly , I would watch any bts interviews on youtube , and listening to all beautiful words spoke by RM especially , JImin specially and the rest of the members . from here only I could smell the maturity and professionality that resides in their personality - this tells me how much they have grown in every single day . how much pain they have endured and how they perceive to this . this is honestly so beautiful .

Bts maturity and their perceptions towards life as a youth gave me a lot of thinking and reflective moment with myself . I am so overwhelmed watching them talking and giving their opinions on life and just doing this only I could smell and sense how much how big and how painful it is their life before they reached to this very succesful stage .

Well I may look like im overrating everything bout bts but I have a running endless list of reasons why I love them so much and +++ each of every single thing that happen that these boys shared be it in their songs or in other media (ivs and stuff) is so relatable with me as someone who is still in her growing phase ++++ knowing the struggles , the real real bad and painful struggles that each of the member faced gave me so much goosebumps as I try to compare it with their current life now . u get me ? no ? ok get away from here thanks .

I may get so teary as I encounter new things and stories about bangtan and my love for them grows in each every single day and this also taught me to be thankful as a person who seems to have everything she needs in life - its just a matter of whether she want to appreciate , achieve and grab it or not .

3. The art of modifying one’s perceptions towards life

This , is important too .

And it requires a lot of practice , alertness and sensitivity towards every situation as we may overlook some things and just being drifted away into that ocean full of negative vibes .

This is important .

We need to perceive things positively in life . as fear , hatred and giving up is just a snese of feeling and it is just a choice that we made ; we allow that feeling to invade into our soul which is supposedly prevented .

We need to sustain a soul that young forever - just like when we were in our first step of doing it .

4 , 5 , 6 is just a kind of elaboration that branches off of the point in 1, 2 and 3 . so good luck , take care and be strong ! try to add happiness , smile , sweetiness and curiosity of whys and hows into each of your daily life

Goodbye ,

Jalga

(30/09/2018 , Saturday , 0220hrs)